Hi Five
Oakers,
I have a few
things I want to share with you.
#1 - Get a recap of the service with highlights of our prayers, readings and
songs here.
#2 - Here are your comments from the Communication Cards:
- Amazing opening songs! Loved the
personal stories. Thank you for sharing, Henry! Great message! [Loved that
opening song too.]
- Dan, song – Your Love Never Fails
– really sounded good! It was made for your voice.
- If there is a couple that wants
to attend the marriage conference, but need childcare I’d be happy to assist. [Jeni
will take note of this. Thank you!]
- Your love never fails – never
heard it better. Wow! Great vocal clarity and mixing. “Jesus Son of God” Dan
and Pam you rock! [I was just telling Pam that today. And Dan did an incredible job leading this week from the selection of the songs to leading the band to singing. I was blessed by it all.]
- I thank you for the book table. I
have read more “good” books because of the availability of these books on
Sunday! [Music to my ears.]
- Aside a decision for Christ, this
is the most important decision on your life. Glad we are taking time to reflect
out this topic.
- Very nice message today Henry!
Good stories – they related well to the scripture we used. Also, good that
we’re in the “marriage Works” series! [Thanks. I try to do a parenting or
marriage series every year.]
- New fave song! “Jesus, Son of
God”. Thank you.
- It has not been my observation
that most married people are happy. I hope you are right! Great message!
- I’ve been attending Hope
Community since moving to downtown Minneapolis. Thank you for suggesting it! [Great
church.]
- Music really loud this week (I
was sitting in last row.) Great songs, but not enjoyable at times.
- I was an usher this week. Issues
with volume level of the music. Second service couple left due to noise level.
We received other comments as well. We offered ear protection; they did not
want to use it. I would recommend we set a new lower standard db level. I did
request noise level reduction second service. Not enough.
- Um, the music was way too loud.
[I usually can tell when we’re going to get comments on loudness but I didn’t
see it coming this week. Strange. We had
some set-up issues this week so I’m wondering if something was out of whack,
causing some harsh sounds. Thanks for letting us know. We're trying to figure out what happened.]
#3 - Here’s a recap of the first message in our “Marriage Works” series on
Genesis 2:18-25 in 10 tweets:
- God's
definition of marriage: Genesis 2:24. Repeated by Jesus and Paul. That's where
believers get our understanding of marriage.
- The
definition has three parts: leave (this message), hold fast (next) & become
one flesh (last wk).
- Everybody
loves a good falling in love story…..even those of you who are rolling your
eyes right now.
- Surveys of
Americans consistently show that most people (61-62%) are very happy in their marriages. It was, after all, God's idea.
- God created
us with a need that marriage fulfills better than any other relationship &
instituted marriage to fulfill it.
- "Leaving"
means forging a new primary allegiance & establishing new patters/ways of
doing things.
- Lois & I
had to "leave" our expectations behind. I don't tinker around the
house fixing things & she's not going to pick up after me.
- So many
marital fights are not just about preferences but about trying to recreate our
families of origin.
- Not good the
man is alone. It's amazing that God created us to need something more than him.
But from day 1 marriage pointed to Christ.
- God's
definition of marriage focuses on a deep connection, a friendship. Deep
friendship takes a significant investment of time & attention.
#4 - Off the cutting room floor: I wanted to
cover this additional information from a huge, longitudinal study I referred to
in the message:
Two out of three unhappily married adults
who avoided divorce or separation ended up happily married five years later.
Two out of three!
Divorce doesn’t work as well as some people
think. Same study found that when people
divorce, hoping that it will make them happier, most don’t get happier in
comparison with those unhappy people who stayed married. This is not a slam on
divorced people or to say that everyone should stay married no matter what.
That is simply not true. It does explain why some experts say many people who
are unhappily married would do better to deal with their depression (if they’re
depressed) than to walk away from their marriage.
#5 - Here's the John Gottman quote from the message:
“The determining factor in whether
wives feel satisfied with the sex, romance, and passion in their marriage is,
by 70 percent, the quality of the couple’s friendship. For men, the determining
factor is, by 70 percent, the quality of the couple’s friendship. So men and
women come from the same planet after all.
…”Happy marriages are based on a deep
friendship. By this I mean a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other’s
company. These couples tend to know each other intimately—they are well versed
in each other’s likes, dislikes, personality quirks, hopes, and dreams. They
have an abiding regard for each other and express this fondness not just in the
big ways but in little ways day in and day out. . . . Friendship fuels the
flames of romance because it offers the best protection against feeling
adversarial toward your spouse.”
I've got a lot to share with you tomorrow. Tune in.
Blessings to you, Pastor Henry