Your Child's Salvation

Are you treating your child's prayer for salvation and baptism like some parents in other traditions treat Confirmation?

Not being in a tradition that offers Confirmation, it baffles me why so many parents make such a big deal about their kids making it through Confirmation without equally making it a big deal that they make it through high school and college walking strong in their faith. It's easy to notice and criticize something that's not part of your own tradition. But how many parents in our tradition make a big deal about their kids praying to receive Christ and put a lot less emphasis on making sure they are cultivating and growing in that relationship all the way through school and college? Or making sure that the prayer was legit? I don't know, but it occurred to me how silly it must look to those outside of our tradition to put absolute trust in something that could easily be done out of peer pressure, desire to please their parents or just plain ignorance.

I received Christ when I was eight years old and I remember the time well. I'm confident that when I prayed to receive Christ, it was a prayer of genuine faith and I started a new relationship with Christ that day. I don't remember the exact moment I prayed, but the moment I do remember was the conversation I had the next day with an older, close friend of mine and telling him that I had accepted Christ and that I could no longer participate in some things we were doing that were wrong. It changed the nature of that relationship. So I'm a big believer in giving kids an opportunity early in life to receive Christ.

But let's not ever trust a prayer prayed out loud any more than a class completed in eighth or ninth grade when it comes to the faith and the eternal life our our kids. I'm not advocating praying repeatedly to receive Christ or living with a lack of assurance of salvation (or cultivating lack of assurance in our kids). But let's also remember that saving faith is evidenced in life or it's not saving faith. And as is even the case with adults, a "first-time decision" is sometimes a false start, for some it can be a first step in coming to faith and for many it's the real deal. (That's why I never refer to first-time decisions as anything more than as a "first-time decision.")

What I am saying is that when your child prays to receive Christ, most of the work of spiritual guidance is still ahead of you. And that work doesn't end at any grade level. In my mind the rule is that as long as you can require that they go to school, you require that they go to church (more importantly, youth group). Exceptions only prove this rule.

And while we're at this, there is one very clear exception: requiring church when you're not committed yourself to serving God and growing in your faith is a farce. In fact, do your kids a favor. If you're not walking with Christ, please DON'T require them to go to church. But it's never too late to repent, to start pursuing that relationship and to model faith for your kids.

The Importance of Campus Ministries (This is for anyone who has children of any age)

Many of you have heard me talk about this before, but I can't stress it enough. The key to a college student's spiritual walk in college is directly tied to their participation in a campus ministry like Campus Crusade, InterVarsity or Navigators or in a good church. In my experience with students, the campus ministry is the "gateway" to a good church in college.

If your kids are in college, do all you can to get them involved. I know, it may be impossible to force it at this point if they don't do it on their own, but it might be worth nagging about, calling a vibrant ministry on campus and asking them to target your child, offering financial incentives or disincentives to your child...whatever is not sin and will work for YOUR child is worth trying.

If your child was involved in our student ministries, chances are they will seek it out for themselves, but they may need a nudge. One of ours knew how important it was, heard Tim and his parents (us) talk about it all the time and fully intended to join, but school was busy and starting new things is intimidating, so he put it off. With some nudging and nagging and praying and a phone call to the campus ministry, he got involved and is a leader in that ministry today.

The other side of all this is that after you've done your part and exhausted your options, you do have to let it go and hand it over to God. Keep praying, but stressing out about it won't help anyone.

But in my experience, parents let go on this way too soon. Sadly, some let it go as early as junior high. If you required your kids to go to school and to work and to get good grades but did not very strongly urge or "require" that they go to church or student ministries of some kind, repent now. Yes, there are exceptions to this, that's why I make it a habit not to judge any persons situation (I'm not walking in their shoes), but chances are you're not one of those exceptions. Repent now before it's too late to make a difference. As long as they are your dependent, it's never too late to start "requiring" that they also cultivate this value that far surpasses good grades, a great career and a good work ethic in importance.