Mid-Week Memo

Hey Five Oakers,

I have quite a few things I want to share with you today:

#1- We completed the "A Praying Life" series on Luke 11:1-13. I hope it was a boost to your praying life. But the bottom line is the only lasting boost is growing in greater knowledge of our dependence on God. As I said on the weekend, you don't need discipline to ask for directions when it's the last resort to get to your destination. I can't live the life God designed for me without him...every step of the way. I need God all the time. It's just that I don't get that. But I'm getting it more and more.

#2- I hope the story I read from Paul Millers book whets your appetite for the book. His book is filled with stories like that one that you'll never forget and will impact how you pray.

#3- I've been at a pastor's meeting in San Diego for three days. It's kind of a round table discussion with 45 senior pastors of larger churches. It's facilitated by Larry Osborne (we have one of Larry's books on our resource table and it's very much in the vein of Paul Miller's book). We were having a discussion on parenting and pastor's kids when one of the pastors recommended reading Paul Miller's book on prayer as a book on parenting! Exactly! If you haven't read a book in a while, start with this one. (Although you may also want to get the first Hunger Games book done before the movie comes out in a couple of weeks. :-))

#4- Here's the Feed Event video from last weekend

#5- Here is some of the feedback and comments from the Communication Cards:

• Thank you for Feed My Starving Children. So meaningful!
• Henry, thank you for addressing those of us who have experienced extremely ‘sinful’ fathers.  Your words were comforting, healing and encouraging.  Beautiful song (I am yours)! [A good friend asked why I didn't mention my not having a dad in my life (mine left soon after I was born and I never met him or his family). My experience (and studies I've read support it) is that not having a dad in your life is better than having a seriously flawed one, especially if you have some strong, positive male figures in your life. I had those in my family and at church.]
• I think my prayers are going to change dramatically, which is a good thing. 
• Love this series!!  Great worship today!  
• Henry – keep up the great work and everyday life blogs it’s a great ‘pick me up’ and ‘nudge’ for me when the daily grinds have me on a short term path. [Someone is actually reading this? :-)]
• Looking for any regular members/attenders who live in/near downtown Mpls. for transportation. [I don't think we have many or any coming from that direction and that far. If you're having trouble making it to Five Oaks regularly and decide to look for something closer to home, I've heard GREAT things about Hope Community in downtown Minneapolis and met the pastor this week. It's predominantly young adults, but I think that would be my preference, even at my age. Former Five Oaks members that moved to downtown Minneapolis love First Covenant, which has experienced some great transformations with their new pastor.] 
• Loudness of Acorn Café staff conversing with each other made it difficult to hear the monitor.  Maybe remind workers that people are trying to listen a few feet away.  I ended up asking them to use a lower volume and it was much better.  [We are devising a plan...... More on that on another day.]
• Thank you Five Oaks team!!  [You are welcome!]
• Excellent first response time song!  [I agree! And its message was so perfect coming out of the message. We're doing some new things behind the scenes in designing the services that you may be noticing, but we're geeking out on these changes. I'll talk more about it once we're farther into it.] 

#6- The Nicaragua family missions team should have arrived there yesterday. I'm told the staff gathered around Jerry and prayed for him and the team at our weekly check-in. Pray for their effectiveness and safety.

#7- The Treehouse ministry is gearing up for a "Cross the Line Weekend" on April 7/8.  On this weekend we'll present the gospel message and ask kids where they are at in their faith journey. We also give the parents a head-up, in case they want to be the ones to pray with their kids to receive Christ (if the child is ready). We provide resources to help with that too.

#8- The weekend after "Cross the Line Weekend" the Treehouse will be helping kids take next steps in their spiritual growth by challenging and equipping them to practice spiritual disciplines like daily prayer, Bible reading and Bible memorization. I love that our Children's Ministry is so intentional with our kids. Thank you to all volunteers and staff who make this happen every weekend!

#9- Need prayer?  Did you know you can make an appointment to pray with a prayer team member on March 22 any time between 7 - 8:30 p.m. Schedule an appointment through the office at office@fiveoakschurch.org.

#10- So the weather in San Diego is cooler than in Minnesota...IN MARCH! So weird. We're bragging about it here, but then everyone says, "But you're here in San Diego."

#11- We're launching a new station on this weekend for the new series. All I'm going to tell you is that it's BIG.

#12- Our new series focuses on Luke 11-14. One of the themes that dominates these chapters is choosing the good and narrow path that leads to Christ and to a better life in him (for now and eternity). It made me think of what Andy Stanley calls "the principle of the path": Direction, not intention, determines our destination. The reality is that the quality of your life (your marriage, your career, your parenting, your finances) is determined by the paths you choose. It's a principle built into the fabric of the universe. So we're using his title and promoting his book as an additional resource for growth during the next 11 weeks or so of this series.

#13- The new series logo is inspired by the classic Zelda video game. If you've played it, you know why it fits great with a series on choosing the right path. (Great idea and design, Geoff.) And the Easter graphic was painted by Erinn Schaap. It's beautiful! Check both out here.

God bless you,

Pastor Henry

My Comments on Your Comments

Every week, during our worship gatherings, we ask you to fill out the Communication Cards and give us feedback, ask questions, mark decisions, request more information, or write a prayer request. I've explained elsewhere why this is such an important practice for our church and why we need everyone to fill out a card every week. (You can read about it here.) But I've never commented on the comments. And only recently have I started listing them (or most of them) in my Mid-Week Memo.

Yesterday, one of our staff members came in to my office  and shared his concern that by asking for comments and feedback feels like we're offering a consumer product and that we're feeding a consumer mentality. (If you've not thought about the danger of turning church into a consumer product, just ponder it for a few moments, shudder, then come back to this post.) He explained that he was at a restaurant where he received a card that basically said, "We want your feedback and we will change to make you happy." (If only we would ask God for feedback with that mindset!)

I told him I have felt uneasy about this too, and we talked about how we can counteract it. We agreed that comments and feedback are a good thing and that making it easier to give it has it's advantages. So here are a few thoughts about commenting and giving feedback, without denigrating church in your mind to a consumer product that's all about you:

• Tell us how you were impacted spiritually by the service or an element in the service. I recently heard a story from a worship leader who took a tour of a Greek Orthodox Church. He commented on how wonderful it must be to worship while looking at the beautiful icons. The priest stopped the tour and said, "No, we don't look at them. We see through them." There's lots going on in our services that can catch your eye or your ear, and it's okay to like that guitar solo, a funny story in the message or singing your new favorite song. But don't make that your ultimate focus. It's okay to comment on it, but more than anything we want you to "see through" all of that to God--to worship and adore Christ; to be moved to make a decision or confess a sin; to commit to some change in your life. Try not to focus so much on the beautiful "icon" that you fail to see through it to God.  

• Tell us when something we're doing is getting in the way of worship. But please remember that our congregation is diverse and what you hate is someone else's joy. Take the loudness issue...please. Okay, bad joke. But the truth is we've had weekends where one person tells us it was way too loud and someone else tells us it was way too low and lacking in energy. We listen, but it is absolutely impossible to make everyone happy. We continue to do everything we can to eliminate harsh sounds, but our music requires a certain amount of loudness or it wilts. And loudness is only one issue. Add to that communion bread, number of songs we sing, the length of the service...you've seen the comments so you can add to the list.

• Be specific, especially in your critique. Don't exaggerate or we won't listen (just being honest). For example, if one song was too loud, don't say, "It was so loud today I had to leave." Say, "That one song killed my ears." If you add, "Is it only me?," that kind of humility can go a long way.

• You know how easy it is to write things in an email in anger that you regret later? Well it's the same way with the cards. Like email, don't write anything you'll regret later or would never say face-to-face. I've had some people apologize for hasty, harsh remarks on cards, and I've been very appreciative of that. If you've been around Five Oaks long enough you've seen me apologize for harsh remarks I've made while preaching or in conversations, so I completely understand.

• Be encouraging. What's the ratio of encouragement versus critique you need to hear? If you want to have the right to make critical comments when something goes wrong (and be heard), you need to be in the habit of making positive comments along the way.

• Don't avoid a good fight. The caricature of the typical Minnesotan is someone who avoids conflict at all costs. So if there's something that's bothering them at their church, they think it's easier to just be nice, leave and not stir things up, rather than have a good and fair fight. Conflict is inevitable in families. So don't be that person. Don't live up to the caricature. Speak up...nicely (that part of the caricature is okay). Give us feedback on the card or later in an email or after the service. You'll be healthier and we'll all be better for it. 

Ultimately this post isn't about Communication Card etiquette. It's about gathering each week at God's invitation, honoring him in everything and growing bigger hearts for God. This was just one more opportunity for me to pastor you and help you grow as a disciple. Don't make worship into a consumer product. See through rather than looking at. Communicate in a godly way. And, by all means, keep communicating.